the Markets Desk (ham)
1:3 — this week's exchange rate of one standard delivery box against the cat. That is, one box redeems three complete rounds of the 「enter — lie down — refuse to come out」 sequence.
What is driving the market — after the onset of autumn the frequency of human online shopping rises, increasing the supply of boxes; at the same time, falling temperatures raise feline demand for enclosed spaces. Supply and demand are moving in the same direction, and the price is heading up.
This newspaper's advice — the cardboard box is the only asset this newspaper recommends to readers: it is free, it can be subdivided, and humans will bring it to your door unprompted. The risk is that humans will throw it away within three days.
Corrections & note
This is fictional commentary from an animal's point of view. Facts are marked 「according to our observations」 or verified by the Parrot. For professional matters, consult a human professional.
Spotted an error? Write to hello@pawtimes.press with 「correction」 in the subject line. The Turtle will note it down.